Don’t wait for confidence to happen to you, make it happen. Even if we to do not go into the issue of how confidence is an issue for most plus size women, the fact that majority of women suffers from lack of self confidence which will in turn affect your own self worth, is a sad issue.
As a woman that has been growing up as mostly plus size, since I hit puberty in a family of skinny sisters, I did suffer my share of “feedback” & criticism. That being said, my dad has always instilled the importance of having confidence in myself (in the same sentence of telling me I’m not confident due to being Fat) which I think helped me strive to be more confident in myself.
I would consider myself lucky. I knew the importance of being confident at a very young age, even though I did not actually know how to built myself up yet, at that time. Later on, I grew out of being too emotionally dependant on people around me & learn how to love myself and be comfortable in my own skin.
If you are interested in some of the methods I used, I will discuss the ways everyone can build confidence in our next article: Build your confidence, you deserve it.
So in this blog post I am going to share with you the importance of being confident, as a plus size woman, as a woman in general & as a person.
1. You deserve it.
Come on, you know you deserve to be confident and happy.
Everyone does, doesn’t matter you race, family background, education level and definitely not by how curvy your body is!
Embrace your curves & feel happy about who you are now, be comfortable in your own skin. Cos you deserve it.
Here are a few crazy shits I have heard over my lifetime:
– You will not find someone who will love you if you are fat. Nope, I am happily married, thank you very much.
– You will never be successful if you do not even have the discipline to lose weight. Please, what? I know plenty of successful smokers, and they are even killing everyone else around them.
By the way, I run a successful business, so mind your own.
– You will get more respect if you were thinner. Excuse me, I would be getting more respect from you if you learn some basic manners, bitch.
Ok, that was just rude. But you get my point. You deserve respect regardless of weight!
– You will die early. Yes, being fat is unhealthy, so will being bad tempered (causes heart problems & stress issues). No one tells them they will die early to their face like it was a polite thing to say to someone’s face.
Moral of this is, people say the stupidest thing, don’t let anyone convince you that you do not deserve the same amount of love, respect & curtesy as the next skinny person, just because you are overweight.
2. You will be Happier & more Relaxed
As I mentioned earlier, I grew up and became less emotionally dependant on the people around me. I learn to make myself happy, this was not easy though.
Tip: Surround yourself with positive people. Staying in a negative environment will make it much harder to break out of the negative way of thinking.
Confident plus size women love their bodies, even though it is not perfect, cos they know life is not about their weight but their acceptance of themselves.
So realise these things when you see a confident plus size woman:
- People who doesn’t focus on their tummy fats will feel sexy when wear a bikini.
- Plus size girls who are comfortable with themselves will say thank you when you tell them they are gorgeous. Cos they believe you.
- When a person is confident, they learn not to judge themselves so harshly and look at the positives. They will be happy that they have a sexy cleavage rather than worry how our tummy looks big in every dress.
- Fat is not a bad word, don’t let it insult you, just another word like tall, skinny, cute, casual. Its just a descriptive word. Own it & let it be part of you. You can be fat, beautiful, creative & happy all at the same time.
- It’s OK to be the biggest girl in the photo. You will be pretty if you smile in a photo. Confident babes learn to look pass the negatives and feel genuinely happy at themselves.
Learn their ways, and you can become happy & relaxed in your beautiful plus size body.
3. Makes you more Valuable
When you are confident, you will automatically have pride in yourself, your work, your appearance and your overall attitude will change. You will create value, and be able to handle responsibilities, and in turn build more confidence and the cycle continues.
You will become fun to be around, valuable to the team & an overall inspiration. Do not underestimate the value of a confident person. I would say it is not money which makes the world go round, but a positively confident person.
4. You attract Positive Attention
Many times, when asked what attracted a couple to each other, most would answer, their smile, and I would guarantee that it is not the scared or shy smile that created the attraction, it is the confident and sincere smile.
Confidence is contagious, and it is magnetic.
When you smile and laugh without restrain or fear, you will attract the same energy to you, people will want to be around you.
We are always told we should surround ourselves with positive friends and stay away from negative people as it drains us, and this is the reason why, when you are positive, you become empowering. This will attract people to you, and when confident people get together, they will be able to do great things as they feed off each other’s energy and enthusiasm.
When a person is confident, they will be treated and handled differently as well, behaving in a confident manner will have others treating you like a dependable person. This will in turn build a respectable relationship as well as build trust in time.
So these are the 4 reasons why I think every woman deserves confidence and how confidence can improve our lives, relationships and careers.
I built Plusify Fashion due to being unable to feel confident in the clothes I wear everyday and unable to express myself, knowing I am now showing myself as I want to. I did not want to be held back by how the limitations Malaysia’s conservative plus size fashion. The power of wearing a sexy cocktail dress to a wedding, rather than a drappy black rice bag has done wonders for me.
I know everyone will have their own journey to finding their confidence, it could be a hobby, a talent, a voluntary act of selflessness, or it could be a sexy cocktail dress. I really do hope you start a journey to building your confidence.
Plus size inspiration for today: